Changing Perspective

This week I started a project fully expecting it to be intense and tedious. I knew going in that it was a big project, and I came prepared. What I am getting out of it though is a great surprise.

You see, I signed up to clean a house from top to bottom. Not just any house, but a house that has not been cleaned in at least 6 months and is occupied by 1 person and 3 fur children. The fur children think they have to mark their territory all through the house which makes the cleaning process even more fun. My first impression of the owner of this home was that she is a sweet woman who just got overwhelmed by all that needs done.

Now to the surprise part...I am having so much FUN with this! The woman I am cleaning for is the sweetest, and she just speaks her mind. She could be me 30 years from now! I never would have thought that this type of deep, intense cleaning could be this much fun! Yes, there is dust and grime an inch thick on everything, and yes there is dog pee on all the corners of everything, but the fun I am having is worth it.

This project will likely take me at least 2 weeks to complete...at least the cleaning part....and then on to the organizing of her things to make it easier to clean in the future. I expect every hour I am there to be full of hard work and tons of fun!

Huh? Really?! I don't think so.......

Okay, so I get home from dance last night and there is a new message on the answering machine. Normally this is no big deal, but Thursday's are "special". You see, that's the day the Judge told my ex-husband that he could call our 2 girls. That was almost 8 years ago......and the Thursday night call hasn't happened in close to a year, and in the 3 years before that it happened about once every 6 months or so. I guess you could say that because he didn't feel the need to call on a regular basis I no longer feel the need to answer the phone.

Back to the point here...the message last night. Apparently this man who used to think a fun time was beating the tar out of me has found someone else willing to marry him. In his message he demanded that I bring the girls to his wedding in April. No "I would like to visit with them and introduce them to my fiance"...no "can the girls please attend the wedding"....just a flat "my girls will be at my wedding".

My first response was loud laughter! My second response was anger. Really?! After 4 years of not even an attempt to see these 2 precious children you want them at your wedding?! I Don't Think SO!!!

I know that sounds mean and maybe even vindictive, but it's not. For the first 2 years after our divorce I sent my sweet babies to supervised visitation every Sunday afternoon. I would spend the whole 4 hours in fear that he would hurt them somehow. When I remarried and moved away I had to let them go with him for 8 hours over the course of 2 days. And that was even harder. And then 4 years ago he just stopped. I hate to admit it, but I was happy! I no longer had to worry about their safety every time they were with him.

I would like to be able to be the kind of person that could just say okay, and drive them north 5 hours for this sham of a wedding, but the reality is that at this point in their lives, they have no real idea who he is. It would cause them to be confused and anxious, and I refuse to put them through that. Not to mention the fact that I know absolutely nothing about the person he is marrying, and would never allow her to be around my girls without meeting her first.

I feel better writing this all out. Sometimes it is therapeutic just to get down what is rumbling around in my mind!

Have you ever.....

heard a song on the radio that transported you back in time? That happened to me yesterday. The girls and I were driving home from dance and a song came on that took me back 20 years. It brought back memories of first love and how 15 year olds view forever. I laughed and cried at the same time as the emotions and memories took over. It just felt good. Know what I mean?

Of course, the girls thought I was nuts, so I tried to explain it to them. But how can you really explain to pre-teens what first love feels like? Or how definite things can seem at 15? Or how happy memories can make you laugh and cry at the same time? I think I just confused them more!

This particular song took me back to a time when I was sure that I would love that boy forever! I loved his family, and they loved me. It was a time when I had found a place with unconditional love, which is what I needed since I lived in a home full of conditional love. It was a time when I just knew things would never change...but, they did. This song defines 4 years of my life. Four great years...there were sad times and the end wasn't easy, but they were still great years.

They say you never forget your first love, and I think that's true. Not that I still want to be with him, but that he taught me what love was supposed to feel like. He taught me how to love without limits and without conditions. He taught me that it's okay to give your heart to someone.....and trust them to take care of it. And he taught me that sometimes you have to move on.

So, today I hope that he is living out his "Rocking Years" with someone who loves him the way he deserves. And I am thankful to be living my "Rocking Years" with a man who loves me more than anything.

Long Time No Type...

So, a friend informed me today that I hadn't posted on here in forever, so I thought I would try to catch you all up on the Stout house! In looking back, I haven't posted since April!! That was 4 months ago! Do you know how much has happened since April?! Of course not, because I haven't been writing here! LOL!Okay, first things first....It was a busy summer! The kids all went to their prospective church camps at some point over the past eight week, and they all thoroughly enjoyed themselves! Jr had football every day of summer except teh weekends, and then today he quit the team. I could be upset with him, but honestly, he is following his heart and being obedient to God, and I want that for him more than anything.The kids went back to school this past Monday so life has sped up once again. I have a Junior, a 6th grader, two 5th graders and a 3rd grader. Could life be any better? Probably not. They all seem to be adjusting well and enjoying their teachers, and that is a good thing. The busy homework hasn't started yet, but I'm sure it won't be long. My business is taking off slowly but surely. There are a few things I am still tweaking, and I hope to make a profit soon. In addition to my website, I have made a page on Facebook, and I intend to get started marketing elsewhere soon too. I want this to work on so many levels! Mostly just to prove to myself that I can do it, but also to make some spending money and have fun doing it!Okay Crazy, I've posted....hope you read this and get a chuckle. I'll try harder to post something every other day or so from now on!Later Taters!

I Did It!!!!!!

I launched my website today!!!! I am so excited! I still have to figure out how to get pictures on the gallery page, but overall I think it looks good. This has been so thrilling and scary at the same time. Learning how to put the website together was interesting, and then when I went to buy my domain name, I couldn't get my first choice. Talk about causing some tears!! But it is done, mostly, and I am feeling good!

Have you ever had a dream? One that just wouldn't go away? One that you knwo you could make reality if you just had the time, the energy, the support, etc? Well, Scrap-A-Daisy is that for me...it is my dream. About 5 years ago I told my husband that I wanted to open a Scrapbooking Bed & Breakfast. Amazingly enough, he totally supported the idea, but we had no way to support the dream. After 5 years of discussion, planning, crying, more discussion, and lots of prayer, we decided I should start small and work my way up to the B&B. That's where Scrap-A-Daisy came in. I decided to launch an internet scrapping business and go from there. This will lead to the B&B, and I get to have fun in the process.

So, those of you who read my blog, visit my website! Even if you are a scrapper, you might see something you want done, or you might know someone who needs help, but no one to turn to.

So, check it out!!!!

www.scrap-a-daisy.com

Much Love!

Bargains!!!!

Today was 1/2 off day at Goodwill! I love it because all of the middle Tennessee Goodwills have EVERYTHING 1/2 off! Sometimes I find great deals, and sometimes I don't, but it's always an adventure. Here are a few pictures of my great finds today.

First, look at this stack of books! There are some good ones! A couple of bibles that ar eall marked up. I love these because it gives glimpses into other people's lives. There are several books of quotes and sayings, which I love! I also got a couple of novels for my reading pleasure!

Next I got curtains! At 50 cents a panel I am ecstatic! The blue and red ones will go on my big picture window in my living room. The cream colored ones are for the kitchen and dining room. Aren't they great? I am loving them!

Last is a sheet that has a great color and desgin. I think this may become curtains for my scrap room....I'm not sure yet. I'll have to get back to you on that one!

Well, I better finish making cheescakes for tomorrow and get things picked up before bed.

Adios!

Sixteen Candles!

On my son's birthday cake today! I cannot believe that I am the mother of a 16 year old. A nice, kind, generous, male 16 year old at that! Let me just say that I am so proud of this kid. He has been through much in his young life and he still is so kind and compassionate to others. He can be a typical grouchy teenager, sure, but for the most part he is great.

He is a football player and I must say that he is a good one! I love to watch him play and to cheer him on.He loves everything make....fast cars, sports, video games, you name it. But he also understands the importance of family and how to be a good big brother.

So, Happy Birthday Dave! I hope it's marvelous and that you continue to grow into the amazing young man I know you are!

love mom!