I wonder if when we decide to live as Christians if we truly get what this means. I know that I have failed miserably over the years in my own witness. I am more concious these days about it than I used to be for sure. I think the longer we are Christians one of two things can happen, we either get better at it, or we get complacent about it. I pray I never get complacent!
I think one of the reasons it's been on my mind lately is because I keep seeing all these posts about reading a particular book or seeing a certain movie....from my Christian friends. It kind of blew me away. I wonder what those they have been witnessing too think when they read those posts?
Then my mind goes to their children. If we are trying to raise our children up to have morals and values that coincide with the Bible, what do they think when they see us or hear us with this kind of material? How can we tell our teenagers to wait for marriage if they see us reading or watching what amounts to porn? How can we make sure that they have a solid foundation of Christ's love if they see us "worshipping" flesh? There was a time when I would have jumped on seeing that movie, or reading that book...but then Jesus found me and my relationship with Him is so much more.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Reflecting....
I posted this picture as my profile picture on facebook last week. It was the 1 year anniversary of putting my boy on a bus for basic training. As I was looking at the picture I was struck by the fact that the word respect is in the background. It made me think about how much my relationship with my son has changed over the last year.
I became David's mom when he was 9. I didn't want him to think of me as the evil step-mother, so my relationship with him has always been a little different than with the smaller kids. We were always close. He talked, I listened and vice versa. Until about 18 months ago....everything changed. He started being less talkative and would become angry instead. It broke my heart, but I remembered being his age and I let it pass....unless I needed to address it. At one point during the first few months we had a conversation about respect and how it is earned not given, but that you have to show it even if the person hasn't earned it. I told him it was okay if he didn't respect me personally, but that he still had to respect my decisions as long as he still lived at home. He seemed to get it and life went on.
The time between his graduation and the day he left for basic were some of the hardest days for us. He threatened to move out, told his dad he couldn't stand me, and many other things. Now, I admit I have made mistakes over the years as a parent. Those who don't are idiots, but I was doing my best to let him be who he wanted to be. During this time there were many times I had to include people who hated me in activities because they were important to him. It was hard! I am not even going to lie! In my prayer time I always prayed for his eyes to be open to the manipulation of these people....I am still praying the same prayer. For the record, I would complain profusely to my husband about those inclusion times....behind closed doors after the kids went to bed. I didn't like it one bit, but I did it....gracefully in public, not so gracefully in private. Did I mention I'm far from perfect?! Well, I am.
So, back to the picture....I love this picture. Can you tell we love each other?! I think it's the last "happy" picture we have together, just the 2 of us. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. I was so proud of him that day! We had just been to his Turning Blue ceremony where he got his infantry cord. He had accomplished something great and I honestly had never been prouder.
My boy doesn't talk to me anymore....he's made it clear that I am to stay out of his life. There are those that think this is awesome because they don't like me. It just leaves me sad. No matter what I love him. He is my son. My oldest child. I am still proud of him for his service to this country. I respect his decision to cut me out. I will continue to pray for opened eyes for him.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Parenting in the Technology Age
Parenting is not easy. In this age of technology it has become even more difficult in some respects. As phones, mp3 players, and handheld gaming devices become more internet friendly, we parents must become more educated. We have a responsibility to know what the apps are, what the cheats are, and how to make sure our parental internet controls are secure. We need to do our research on the devices our children are asking for. Look up what the security settings are. Look up what apps are available. Check out the technology we are being asked to buy.
When we allow these devices into our homes and the hands of our children we need to make sure they know the rules. Write up a contract and you all sign it. Hold them accountable. Let them know that you will be monitoring their calls and texts. Let them know you will randomly ask for their devices and look through their histories. Let them know the consequences for breaking the rules. And follow through. Yes, it's easier to let our children have phones so we can keep in touch with them. Yes, it's easier to get them iPods so we don't have to listen to several radios at once. Yes, it's easier to just believe that they will follow the rules and we can trust them. But that isn't responsible parenting.
This topic is such a burden on my heart lately. I have busted my children misusing technology. I have had to make tough choices and learn things I didn't really want to so I could protect them better. I continue to learn new things all the time about how parents can be fooled and the rules broken. We live in a scary world where grown ups troll the internet for young people to lure in. We have to be the type of parents who are vigilant in protecting our children. This means being aware of their online activities. It means being aware of the apps they have on their devices. It means caring enough to KNOW what they are doing, and randomly checking up on them.
When we allow these devices into our homes and the hands of our children we need to make sure they know the rules. Write up a contract and you all sign it. Hold them accountable. Let them know that you will be monitoring their calls and texts. Let them know you will randomly ask for their devices and look through their histories. Let them know the consequences for breaking the rules. And follow through. Yes, it's easier to let our children have phones so we can keep in touch with them. Yes, it's easier to get them iPods so we don't have to listen to several radios at once. Yes, it's easier to just believe that they will follow the rules and we can trust them. But that isn't responsible parenting.
This topic is such a burden on my heart lately. I have busted my children misusing technology. I have had to make tough choices and learn things I didn't really want to so I could protect them better. I continue to learn new things all the time about how parents can be fooled and the rules broken. We live in a scary world where grown ups troll the internet for young people to lure in. We have to be the type of parents who are vigilant in protecting our children. This means being aware of their online activities. It means being aware of the apps they have on their devices. It means caring enough to KNOW what they are doing, and randomly checking up on them.
Friday, February 3, 2012
This week....
has been the hardest. week. ever. Seriously. Don't ask me the details because if I want you to know, than I already told you. If you know, and it didn't come from my mouth, then that's a problem. It's not that I'm embarrassed, or trying to be super private (because we all know I tell everything I know), or because I don't like you...or you...or you over there. It's because some things just don't need to be shouted from the rooftops. Some things belong in the confines of a family and a few close, trust worthy, praying friends.
This week I have learned that sometimes you just don't know how much someone is hurting. You don't always know when a normal behavior isn't really all that normal. You don't always know that those smiles and laughter are covering more pain than you can imagine. And you never know when someone will take that step over the edge and hope that someone cares enough to catch them.
This week I learned that mom's don't have all the answers. Most times they don't even know all the questions. They can't kiss every boo-boo and make it go away, and they can't always scare away the boogie man. Sometimes they don't even know there is a boogie man to scare away, or a boo-boo to kiss. Mom's aren't superhuman (although we feel like it most of the time).
This week I learned that I am not as strong as I thought I was. That there are things that can still knock the wind out of my sails, and waves that feel like they are tipping the boat over. I learned that sometimes I can be taken completely by surprise, in a bad way. I learned that I am not fearless....I am actually pretty scared.
This week I learned that my God is big enough to cover it all. That no matter what I have learned this week He still holds me close to Him. He can heal the hurting. He can catch the falling. He has the answers. He can be my strength. He can calm the storm and keep the boat from tipping. He can take my fear.
My theme song.
This week I have learned that sometimes you just don't know how much someone is hurting. You don't always know when a normal behavior isn't really all that normal. You don't always know that those smiles and laughter are covering more pain than you can imagine. And you never know when someone will take that step over the edge and hope that someone cares enough to catch them.
This week I learned that mom's don't have all the answers. Most times they don't even know all the questions. They can't kiss every boo-boo and make it go away, and they can't always scare away the boogie man. Sometimes they don't even know there is a boogie man to scare away, or a boo-boo to kiss. Mom's aren't superhuman (although we feel like it most of the time).
This week I learned that I am not as strong as I thought I was. That there are things that can still knock the wind out of my sails, and waves that feel like they are tipping the boat over. I learned that sometimes I can be taken completely by surprise, in a bad way. I learned that I am not fearless....I am actually pretty scared.
This week I learned that my God is big enough to cover it all. That no matter what I have learned this week He still holds me close to Him. He can heal the hurting. He can catch the falling. He has the answers. He can be my strength. He can calm the storm and keep the boat from tipping. He can take my fear.
My theme song.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Something to Think About
As life has unfolded the past few weeks, I have been doing a lot of thinking. There are so many things going on at the moment that I'm surprised I have time to make cohesive thoughts, but that's the way life is sometimes. The biggest recurring thought recently is this: when we pray for our children, are we praying for their future spouses?
This is a topic that may seem off for a mom with children the age of mine, but it's one I think all parents should spend time on. When I pray for my children I pray for the man or woman God has for them. I pray that they will be discerning in their choices of boyfriends and girlfriends, and that they will always trust God when he says not this one. I pray that God will place the person in their path that will love them the way He does. The one that will love them unconditionally, for their whole lives. I also pray that each one of my children will be so immersed in their faith that they will know when that person crosses their path.
I also pray that I will be able to help guide them in their choices. I pray that while they are still in my home that we will be able to have honest open discussions about what kind of people they should be dating. I also pray that they will listen with open hearts and minds when I do not approve of someone they are dating. I pray that when I don't approve I will be able to give solid, unemotional answers to why.
I want to have the guts to know when to say no, and I want my kids to have the guts to trust me when I say no. Maybe I'm asking too much, and maybe I'm not.
This is a topic that may seem off for a mom with children the age of mine, but it's one I think all parents should spend time on. When I pray for my children I pray for the man or woman God has for them. I pray that they will be discerning in their choices of boyfriends and girlfriends, and that they will always trust God when he says not this one. I pray that God will place the person in their path that will love them the way He does. The one that will love them unconditionally, for their whole lives. I also pray that each one of my children will be so immersed in their faith that they will know when that person crosses their path.
I also pray that I will be able to help guide them in their choices. I pray that while they are still in my home that we will be able to have honest open discussions about what kind of people they should be dating. I also pray that they will listen with open hearts and minds when I do not approve of someone they are dating. I pray that when I don't approve I will be able to give solid, unemotional answers to why.
I want to have the guts to know when to say no, and I want my kids to have the guts to trust me when I say no. Maybe I'm asking too much, and maybe I'm not.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
New Year, New Goals
Is anyone else having problems believing we are in the year 2012? It just doesn't seem possible! Oh well, here we are so let's make the best of it. There are some big changes coming up for us this year. The Y Factor got a new job (PTL!) in South Carolina. I took all the kiddos (minus Soldier Boy) to visit this past week. We had such a great time exploring and making friends. The Informant was particularly excited that my friend....we'll call her Songbird....had a son her age. We went house hunting, school scoping and zoo exploring while we were there. The Deviant decided she wanted to go to a particular high school....because it looks like a castle!
Since things are a little crazy right now living in 2 states and trying to pack this house up and sell it while looking for a new home in a new town at the same time I told the Y Factor that I wanted to see the ocean for Christmas....so he took us!
Isn't it beautiful?!
Anyway, so on to new goals....I really must get this house on the market by the first of February....anyone interested in a 3 bed, 2 bath home on half an acre in a nice subdivision? Just let me know! Preparation include painting, packing, new windows and a mini kitchen remodel. I plan to be like Wonder Woman the next 4 weeks! I'm always open to volunteers to help too!
Another goal is to figure out how to help the Eccentric succeed in school. We have some testing coming up and hopefully we will get some answers and some insight. In conjunction with that is going to be a meeting with her teachers, guidance counselor and principal....that way they understand this momma means business.
Another huge goal is more family devotions. We all do our own thing and we talk about it all the time, but I just think we need to be talking to God and studying His word in a more disciplined manner. I've found a couple of good family devotions and can't wait to get started. I'm also going to start pray journals with the kids. They can write down what they want me to help them pray for and I can write my prayers for them. I think this will help them be more open and it will help me truly pray the desires of their hearts as well as mine.
I'm also on a mission to be more appreciative of the Y factor. I did a 30 day thing back in September and it made me realize that I need to tell Y Factor more often how much he means to me and to our family. I think this will strengthen our marriage during our separation and help us be closer than ever. And before you ask, no, we aren't having any problems, but there is always room for improvement.
One more thing I am going to try is turning my Scrap-A-Daisy website into a blog so that I can reach more people and get my name out into the blog world and pinterest. I think this makes the best business sense at this point. I need lots of prayers to stay on top of it though....in case you haven't noticed I'm not the best at posting in blogland! :)
That's all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure more things will come to me as the month goes on and I will try to post them as I think of them.
Happy Reading!
Since things are a little crazy right now living in 2 states and trying to pack this house up and sell it while looking for a new home in a new town at the same time I told the Y Factor that I wanted to see the ocean for Christmas....so he took us!
Isn't it beautiful?!
Anyway, so on to new goals....I really must get this house on the market by the first of February....anyone interested in a 3 bed, 2 bath home on half an acre in a nice subdivision? Just let me know! Preparation include painting, packing, new windows and a mini kitchen remodel. I plan to be like Wonder Woman the next 4 weeks! I'm always open to volunteers to help too!
Another goal is to figure out how to help the Eccentric succeed in school. We have some testing coming up and hopefully we will get some answers and some insight. In conjunction with that is going to be a meeting with her teachers, guidance counselor and principal....that way they understand this momma means business.
Another huge goal is more family devotions. We all do our own thing and we talk about it all the time, but I just think we need to be talking to God and studying His word in a more disciplined manner. I've found a couple of good family devotions and can't wait to get started. I'm also going to start pray journals with the kids. They can write down what they want me to help them pray for and I can write my prayers for them. I think this will help them be more open and it will help me truly pray the desires of their hearts as well as mine.
I'm also on a mission to be more appreciative of the Y factor. I did a 30 day thing back in September and it made me realize that I need to tell Y Factor more often how much he means to me and to our family. I think this will strengthen our marriage during our separation and help us be closer than ever. And before you ask, no, we aren't having any problems, but there is always room for improvement.
One more thing I am going to try is turning my Scrap-A-Daisy website into a blog so that I can reach more people and get my name out into the blog world and pinterest. I think this makes the best business sense at this point. I need lots of prayers to stay on top of it though....in case you haven't noticed I'm not the best at posting in blogland! :)
That's all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure more things will come to me as the month goes on and I will try to post them as I think of them.
Happy Reading!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
New names and more blogging
Today a friend introduced me to a new blog. The lady who writes it cracked us up! She just says things, much like I do, except I use cleaner language. In reading this blog said friend and I decided that I needed to give names to those in my family and blog more about them. So, here I am starting by giving you the names of my family members and promising more blog posts about them!
Me - The Cultivated One
Husband - The Y Factor
Son #1 - Soldier Boy
Son #2 - The Instigator
Daughter #1 - The Deviant
Daughter #2 - The Eccentric
Daughter #3 - The Informant
Now, if you know me and my family, don't give it away and say their real names! i am going to do my best to keep this up and give you more stories from the Stout House!
Me - The Cultivated One
Husband - The Y Factor
Son #1 - Soldier Boy
Son #2 - The Instigator
Daughter #1 - The Deviant
Daughter #2 - The Eccentric
Daughter #3 - The Informant
Now, if you know me and my family, don't give it away and say their real names! i am going to do my best to keep this up and give you more stories from the Stout House!
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