Huh? Really?! I don't think so.......

Okay, so I get home from dance last night and there is a new message on the answering machine. Normally this is no big deal, but Thursday's are "special". You see, that's the day the Judge told my ex-husband that he could call our 2 girls. That was almost 8 years ago......and the Thursday night call hasn't happened in close to a year, and in the 3 years before that it happened about once every 6 months or so. I guess you could say that because he didn't feel the need to call on a regular basis I no longer feel the need to answer the phone.

Back to the point here...the message last night. Apparently this man who used to think a fun time was beating the tar out of me has found someone else willing to marry him. In his message he demanded that I bring the girls to his wedding in April. No "I would like to visit with them and introduce them to my fiance"...no "can the girls please attend the wedding"....just a flat "my girls will be at my wedding".

My first response was loud laughter! My second response was anger. Really?! After 4 years of not even an attempt to see these 2 precious children you want them at your wedding?! I Don't Think SO!!!

I know that sounds mean and maybe even vindictive, but it's not. For the first 2 years after our divorce I sent my sweet babies to supervised visitation every Sunday afternoon. I would spend the whole 4 hours in fear that he would hurt them somehow. When I remarried and moved away I had to let them go with him for 8 hours over the course of 2 days. And that was even harder. And then 4 years ago he just stopped. I hate to admit it, but I was happy! I no longer had to worry about their safety every time they were with him.

I would like to be able to be the kind of person that could just say okay, and drive them north 5 hours for this sham of a wedding, but the reality is that at this point in their lives, they have no real idea who he is. It would cause them to be confused and anxious, and I refuse to put them through that. Not to mention the fact that I know absolutely nothing about the person he is marrying, and would never allow her to be around my girls without meeting her first.

I feel better writing this all out. Sometimes it is therapeutic just to get down what is rumbling around in my mind!